About Vegetable Soup

So the weather outside is weather, specifically unreasonably unseasonably warm weather--I think it's been in the 80s all week? RIDICULOUS. Even more ridiculous is that in the middle of all this I made SOUP for dinner. HOT SOUP. HOT VEGETABLE SOUP. Please don't bring this up in a couple months when it's 129 degrees outside and I'm in the midst of one of my annual summer WHIIIIIIIIIIIIINE sessions.

But really, I have a very good reason for making this. See, the last few weeks? I've been eating nothing but pizza and wings and poutine and all other manner of, just, crap? And my dresses maybe feel more like sausage casings? So perhaps I need to rethink my eating habits a bit? Would you like another unnecessary question mark? There you go.

This recipe is insanely healthy for you; it's basically nothing but vegetables after all. And luckily, it is delicious. It's seriously one of my favorite soup recipes, so much so that a couple of years ago I pretty much had a bowl every day and accidentally lost 15 pounds. Bonus! It's also really easy since the measurements aren't exactly precise. Like, you see how I say you need 2 cups of some sort of leafy green vegetable down there? Well, for some reason I always end up adding, like, 3 pounds of kale. (I really like kale.)

This makes a lot, but don't worry; it freezes beautifully. Here's what you need:

• 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
• 1 medium onion
• 2 medium carrots
• 1-2 stalks of celery
• 1 medium red bell pepper
• 3+ cloves of garlic
• 6 cups broth or water
• 3-4 sprigs of thyme
• 1-2 bay leaves
• 2 small zucchini
• 1 medium head of broccoli
• ½ medium head of cauliflower
• ½ small head of cabbage
• About 61 cents' worth of dark, leafy greens (or 2 cups, shredded)
• 1 lemon
• A couple tablespoons of fresh herbs (parsley, dill, and chives are especially nice)

First thing is that you're going to want to give all of that vegetable matter up there a rough chop. Don't worry about getting a perfect dice, because it's all gonna end up blended together anyway. (That is, unless you don't want a blended soup, in which case you should make sure each cube is perfectly symmetrical and exactly the same size. It's what the French would have wanted.)



In a dutch oven or stock pot (something big, basically), heat the oil over medium-high heat until it starts to shimmer. Saute the aromatics (your onion, carrots, celery, bell pepper, and garlic) with a pinch of salt until they soften.



At this point you can deglaze the pan with a glug or two of white wine if you happen to have any around. When the wine has almost entirely evaporated, add the both. (If you don't have any wine then just add the broth.) Crank the heat up to high and add the thyme, bay leaves, and the rest of your vegetables.

Now, if you've got my crazy kale addiction, chances are everything won't fit in the pot so good. But NEVER FEAR. Just slap a lid on that sucker and in a scant couple minutes your leafy greens will be wilted enough for you to give everything a good stir.



Once the pot comes to a boil, turn the heat way down and let everything simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, or however long it takes for everything to become nice and tender without overcooking it into mush.



Fish out the thyme stalks and bay leaves and blend that shit up.



Add the juice of that lemon I told you to get, and then salt and pepper it to taste. (My guess is that you'll need a fair bit of salt.) And you're pretty much ready to go. Just ladle some soup into a bowl and garnish it with some of those fresh herbs I told you to get. (If you're feeling particularly fancy, you can also add a dollop of sour cream or Greek yogurt.)



Let the healthy eating begin!

About Chilled Zucchini Soup

Blah, blah, blah, HOT AS BALLS, blahblahblaaaaaaaah. I don't know, it's HOT AS BALLS. But Vahid asked for more summer recipes, and this is a really good one, especially as it's almost the exact opposite of HOT AS BALLS. Which would be cold as cubes? I don't know, my brain is fried on account of it's HOT AS BALLS.

ANYWAY, this joins the pantheon of cold soups I've shared on this here website, and like those others it's delish. (What did I just do there? I DON'T KNOW. Random letters are just coming off my fingertips right now. Let's move on.) Soooo... for about 4-6 servings (or one really, really big serving you bloody pig), you'll need:

• 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
• 2 large shallots, thinly sliced crosswise like this:
• 
• 4 large zucchini, peeled and halved lengthwise, then cut into thin slices like this:
• 
• 2 strips of fresh lemon zest, about the width of your vegetable peeler and the length of your lemon, sort of this this:
• 
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 3/4 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
• 1 3/4 cups water
• 1 cup loosely packed fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves
• 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh dill, or about this much:
• 
• 6 ounces plain Greek yogurt

Heat up your olive oil in a 4-quart heavy saucepan or dutch oven over moderate heat. Add the shallots, and cook those down for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally until they're softened. They'll go from this:

to this:


Add your zucchini, lemon zest, salt, and pepper, and cook those down for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally until the zucchini is softened.

They'll go from this:

to this:


Next up, add your broth and water (this is what makes it soup!), and simmer everything for about 3 minutes until the zucchini is tender.



Throw your herbs in the pot.



Then, working in batches, puree the soup in a blender until it's smooth. IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE (although it's not to the side, which I guess makes it more of an IMPORTANT WITHIN-PARAGRAPH NOTE): When pureeing hot liquids in a blender, make sure you take the little nubbin thing off of the blender lid. I don't really know what that's called, if it's called anything at all, but it's the thing that leaves a giant hole in the lid. And now you're probably asking yourself why you'd want a giant hole in the blender lid, because isn't a lid supposed to, you know, seal shit up? And this is true, but if you don't have a giant hole in the lid when you're blending hot liquids there would be no place for steam to escape and with no place for steam to escape you get HOT STEAMING EXPLOSIONS. Hence, the Industrial Revolution.

But, you still have a giant hole in the lid which can (and does, believe me) lead to splash back, so just hold a kitchen towel over the hole to catch any soup that might be organizing a massive jailbreak.

Or, you know, you could just buy a stick blender and use that to puree your soup right in the pot. Like this!



Set that aside to cool. Once it's at room temperature, whisk in the yogurt.



Give it a taste, and add more salt if you need it. Then stick that bad boy (or girl, whatever) in the fridge and let it chiiiiiiiillax for a few hours. When it's cold, it's ready to serve!



Stay cool, friends!

About Moroccan Tomato Soup

It’s too hot to cook. (If you’re reading this out loud, this is how you should say that sentence: “It’s toooooooooooo HOT to cooooooooook.” And throw in some pathetic wimpers and sobs in there while you’re at it.) Seriously, I don’t know if you’ve stepped outside any time in the last, oh, TWO MONTHS, because if you haven’t (LUCKY!), let me tell you, it is HOT AS BALLS out there. So the very last thing I want to do when I come home at the end of a long commute, deliriously meandering back to Chinatown in the 100-degree heat, is turn on the stove. (The first thing I want to do is jump in a swimming pool full of ice and unicorn tears, but that is neither here nor there.)

So, if I get around to it (shit’s busy all up in here, yo), I think I’ll try and feature some coooooool summertime recipes over the next couple of weeks. Because it is HOT AS BALLS out there.

First up: a cold tomato soup that is NOT gazpacho. I like the idea of gazpacho, and Santa knows I order gazpacho a whole heck of a lot for someone who hates gazpacho, but that’s just it; I HATE gazpacho. But this I like. It’s an old New York Times recipe that I’ve tweaked over the years, and now that tomatoes are showing up in the farmers market in full force, I (literally) crank out a batch once a week. So, let’s get started, hmm?

For four servings you’ll need:

• 5 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 1/2 teaspoons sweet paprika
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
• Large pinch of cayenne pepper
• 4 teaspoons olive oil
• 2 1/4 pounds tomatoes, cut into chunks (unless you don’t have a food mill, in which case, see below)
• 1/4 cup packed chopped cilantro
• 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
• 3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1/2 large English cucumber, diced
• 2 tablespoons water

One more thing before we get started. This soup is super fresh, so if your produce doesn’t look like this:



don’t bother. Your soup will taste like crap. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Also you’ll probably need a food mill to smash up your tomatoes and remove the skins. If you don’t have a food mill, you can always use this technique, to peel your tomatoes before blending them up in a food processor, but that just sounds like a giant pain in the ass to me.

Okay so I guess that was two more things. SUE ME.

Now, in a small skillet, stir the garlic, paprika, cumin, cayenne, and olive oil together. Place the pan over medium-low heat and cook the spice mixture, stirring constantly, for 5 minutes. This will remove the bite from the garlic and bloom the flavors of the other dry spices. It’ll also make your kitchen smell like Marrakesh, without all the incense and b.o. Anyway, this is what it will look like:



Remove the pan from the heat and set aside.

Next, pass the tomato chunks through a food mill fitted with a large disk.



This is the hard part.

When your tomatoes are all milled up, stir in the cooked spice mixture, cilantro, vinegar, lemon juice, salt, cucumber, and water. (What I'm saying is, stir in the rest of your ingredients.) Give it a taste, and add more salt if you need it. Refrigerate until cold, then serve, garnished with more cilantro.



And enjoy the antioxidant rush.

About Chilled Corn Soup with Adobo Swirl

Guess what! It's finally sweaty as balls out there in the un-air-conditioned world! And the corn is as high as an elephant's eye, which I don't really understand, because I'm pretty sure corn isn't native to the same places elephants live. So unless, I don't know, the circus rolls into town (BOOOOOO CIRCUS!) and the elephants arrange some sort of massive jailbreak (AND WHO COULD BLAME THEM) and end up tromping through the cornfields of Iowa, how the hell would you know that the corn is as high as an elephant's eye? I mean, I suppose you could make a rough guesstimation as to the height of an elephant's eye, but Americans did not put a man on the moon with guesstimations. Much.

ANYWAY, the point is that corn is 10 for a dollar at my local Safeway, and although corn on the cob is DELICIOUS, it also crams all in between your teeth which is annoying. So I figured, why not make some corn soup? Oh yeah, because it's sweaty as balls out there in the un-air-conditioned world. Then how about we make some chilled corn soup? BRILLIANT!

For four bowls you'll need:

• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 cup chopped sweet onion (like a Vidalia or a Maui or even a Walla Walla)
• 4 cups fresh corn kernels (from about 4 ears of corn; I used white corn but any color will do ya)
• 2 cups low-sodium chicken broth (or vegetable broth for you vegetarians out there)
• 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
• 1 cup (or less) water
• Salt and pepper to taste

• 2 teaspoons adobo sauce from canned chipotle chiles
• Fresh cilantro leaves, chopped

(In case you were wondering, what makes this soup instead of the more traditional corn chowder is the lack of cream in the recipe. Also probably some potatoes or something. Whatever, like you care.)

First off, heat 1 tablespoon of the olive oil in a large, heavy saucepan or dutch oven over medium-high heat. When the oil gets shimmery add the onion and a small pinch of salt and sauté until soft, about 4 minutes.



Next add the corn kernels, broth, and 1 tablespoon of the lime juice. Bring the mixture to boil, then reduce the heat to medium and simmer until the corn is just tender. This will take about about 3 minutes.



Working in batches, puree the soup in a blender until almost smooth. IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE (although it's not to the side, which I guess makes it more of an IMPORTANT WITHIN-PARAGRAPH NOTE): When pureeing hot liquids in a blender, make sure you take the little nubbin thing off of the blender lid. I don't really know what that's called, if it's called anything at all, but it's the thing that leaves a giant hole in the lid. And now you're probably asking yourself why you'd want a giant hole in the blender lid, because isn't a lid supposed to, you know, seal shit up? And this is true, but if you don't have a giant hole in the lid when you're blending hot liquids there would be no place for steam to escape and with no place for steam to escape you get HOT STEAMING EXPLOSIONS. Hence, the Industrial Revolution.

But, you still have a giant hole in the lid which can (and does, believe me) lead to splash back, so just hold a kitchen towel over the hole to catch any soup that might be organizing a massive jailbreak.



Pour your batches of pureed soup into a large bowl, then stir in the remaining tablespoon of lime juice and up to a cup of water (just add a little at a time to thin the soup to your desired consistency). Season up your corn soup with salt and pepper to taste, then cover the bowl and refrigerate until chilled, about 2 hours or overnight.



Now, this might not taste like a whole lot of fabulousness now but just before you're getting ready to serve your soup whisk the remaining 2 tablespoons of olive oil together with the adobo sauce. Drizzle each bowl of soup with the adobo oil and then garnish with a healthy amount of cilantro.



I guaran-fucking-tee it: FABULOUSNESS.