About Cheese Grits

Of the many important lessons one can learn from the classic movie My Cousin Vinny, the most important is this: no self-respecting Southerner would ever use instant grits. So it's a damn good thing I'm just barely a Southerner, because I'll stand around for fifteen years making risotto, but when I want cheese grits I want them RIGHT NOW. Seriously, the mere mention of cheese grits is enough to make my head explode, and so it was last week when Heather Anne merely mentioned cheese grits, and all my Pavlovian reflexes kicked in and my head was filled with nothing but the thought of cheese grits and so I made cheese grits. AND THEY WERE GOOD.

So now I'll pass the savings on to you! Let's make some groceries. For a big ol' pot o' grits that will serve about six normal-sized human beings, you'll need:
  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 1 cup finely diced yellow onion
  • 3/4 cup finely diced green pepper
  • 1 medium jalapeno pepper, minced
  • 4 large garlic cloves, minced or pressed through a garlic press
  • 4 cups milk
  • 1 cup quick grits
  • 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
  • 1/4 grated Pecorino Romano cheese
  • salt, pepper, Tabasco to taste
Have we talked mis-en-place? We have? Good! Because here it is again.

So, melt half of the butter in a saucepan over medium-high heat. When it has stopped foaming, add the yellow onion, green pepper, and jalapeno. Sprinkle a little salt and pepper over the veggies and saute them until nice and soft. Then add the garlic and saute for about a minute more, making sure it doesn't burn. It should look like this when you're done:

Pour in the milk, cover the pan, and bring it to a boil. (But watch the pot carefully so the milk doesn't boil over, and yeah, I know what they say about watched pots never boiling, but there's also this thing called physics that says otherwise.) Turn the heat down to medium-low and slowly stir in the grits so's you don't give yourself the lumps.

Cook, covered, for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. (You'll obviously need to uncover the pot occasionally to stir up your grits.)

Now pull the pan off the heat and add both cheeses and the rest of the butter. Stir until the cheeses are all melted and incorporated into the grits.

Give it a taste, then add more salt and pepper if it needs it, and top it off with a little Tabasco. I apologize in advance if, after eating a whole mess of these cheese grits, you never think of anything ever again.

Who am I kidding? I'm not sorry AT ALL.


  1. Secret: I've never had grits before. These look delicious.

  2. i've had grits... but these look like i want to eat them :)

  3. I've never had grits because I thought they looked gross plain. However. These have cheese in them so I would try this.

  4. I was with you until you said "add the milk." Maybe you could do a Choose Your Ending for Schilbo, where you make some chicken or something with all that delicious garlicy onionness?

  5. the milk just makes it creamy. you can easily sub low-sodium chicken broth.

  6. I can go ahead and verify that these are the best grits ever. And I'm from Georgia: I know my grits.

  7. I could die happily if only you'd make these for me beforehand. Which would be good if ever I'm to be executed, because I now know what my last meal request will be; and then you could just y'know, stall or something while the others bust me out.