About Asparagus Ravioli

When the Caps have a matinee game, like they do this weekend (LET'S GO CAPS!), a curious thing happens. We'll wander out of the Phone Booth, drunk and exuberant from the latest stunning Caps win (LET'S GO CAPS!), and it will still be light outside. And stores will still be open and shit. And so we'll wander around the neighborhood, hooting and hollering, until invariably we'll end up at the cheese shop because I LOVE CHEESE. And then we'll wander around bar hopping until bedtime and wake up Sunday morning and wonder where the $10 bottle of tomato sauce came from.



Oh yeah, the cheese shop.

So we'll have this $10 bottle of tomato sauce, and we don't want to just waste it on some crappy spaghetti or whatnot and we'll sort of babble about pasta or whatever until the phrase "well method" pops up and then somehow I'll get roped into making ravioli from scratch because asparagus is on sale and also we have a huge hunk of goat cheese in the fridge and asparagus and goat cheese SCREAM ravioli. (Also, tart and frittata and omelet and quiche and LET'S GO CAPS!)

But then I'll remember that our cleaning service doesn't come for two weeks and the well method of pasta making looks REALLY messy and also I have a cat who likes to stick his face in everything and hey! I'm Asian! And I live in Chinatown! Which leads to me buying a package of wonton wrappers and morphing into a cynical, embittered version of Sandra Lee, whom I hate by the way.

And so, to make me feel better about buying these (which you can get in your local supermarket, by the way, usually in the produce section where they keep all the tofu and phoney baloney and whatnot):



I'll spend the day making my own ricotta. So SUCK IT SANDRA LEE.

Your grocery list, for about 35 raviolis:

• 3/4 cup ricotta cheese, well drained
• 6 ounces softened goat cheese
• 1 cup steamed asparagus, chopped
• 1 egg
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Package of wonton wrappers
• 1 egg white

So yeah, first you're gonna wanna steam (or roast or boil or whatever) your asparagus until it's cooked, then you're gonna wanna let that cool, AND THEN! cut off the tips (and save them for later), and chop up all the stems into little pieces.



Then you're gonna take your ricotta, goat cheese, and chopped asparagus, and you're gonna dump it all into a bowl, and mix it up, and taste it. Need salt? Add salt. Need pepper? Add pepper. And then add your egg and mix it all up again.



Then, put your filling mixture (because I don't know if you caught what was going on here, but that's what you just made) in the fridge to chillax for a few minutes. THEN then, pour yourself a glass of wine, because you have a bit of work ahead of you.



Man, I could totally use a glass of that wine right about now. Anyway. Clear yourself a little counter space and set up a little work station: have your package of wontons open and your egg white in a little bowl and a place to put all of your finished raviolis. And those asparagus tips you saved? Slice them all in half lengthwise. And prepare to make magic.

Take out one wonton wrapper and place a little dollop of filling right in the middle. (Little dollop = NOT TOO MUCH! You don't want the damn things exploding on you!) And in the middle of that place one of your sliced asparagus tips. FANCY. Dip your finger in the egg white, and dab it along the edges of the wonton, around the filling. (This is the glue that keeps the two wrappers together.) Then, place another wrapper on top, and carefully press the two sides together, making sure you get as much air out as possible.



Lather, rinse, and repeat. And before you know it, look how many raviolis you've made!



Now stop being so smug and put those in the fridge while you heat up some sauce and boil some water. Go ahead, I'll wait. Done? Okay, good. Gently boil your raviolis for a minute. MAYBE two, but I'm skeptical. Then remove them to your serving dish with a slotted spoon (five to six raviolis should be enough for one person; you can freeze the rest for later).



Sauce those bad boys up, and while you're at it, top it off with some fresh basil and Parmesan.



VOY-LA. A romantical dinner for two, semi-homemade with love.

Gah, I can't believe I just said that. Someone please shoot me in the face. Also, LET'S GO CAPS!