About Roasted Cauliflower

Cooking for boys who claim to hate vegetables is SO WORST. It's like, give me a freaking BREAK already, I'm trying to do something good for your freaking colon so just eat the goddamned cauliflower, you know? But that's the thing about boys; they make no sense.

That's why I hereby give all y'all permission to be SNEAKY.

And that's exactly what roasted cauliflower is. Sneaky. One could even call it CRAFTY. Because roasted cauliflower tastes nothing like cauliflower. It tastes like french fries. But BETTER. Better, better french fries. I LOVE BETTER FRENCH FRIES.


Your shopping list for two is pretty simple. and pretty much consists of the following:
  • 1 head of cauliflower
  • A couple glugs of extra virgin olive oil
  • Salt and pepper
That's it.

Now go and preheat your oven to 425 F. Now unwrap your head of cauliflower and remove any outer leaves, and trim the bottom off the stem to discard any brownish/blackish spots. As soon as you're done with that set your head of cauliflower stem-side down on a cutting board, and marvel at how freakishly brain-like that freaky-deaky vegetable looks. Then pull out your chef's knife and prepare to audition for Shaun of the Dead 2: Cooking Boogaloo.

Slice your brain--I mean cauliflower--into approximately 1/4-inch sections.

Remove these to a large bowl and dump a couple glugs of extra virgin olive oil over them. Then add a few pinches of salt and pepper, and gently toss the slices so they are completely coated but still (for the most part) intact. Spread the cauliflower into a single layer on a half-sheet pan.

Once the oven has preheated, stick the tray in and let it roast for about 20 minutes. Barring any major catastrophes (they have been known to happen) it should look about like this:

Use a spatula to flip the pieces over, then stick them back in the oven for another 20-30 minutes, until they look like this:

(That would be golden, brown, and delicious.) Now pile those on a plate with, what is that? Barbecued chicken and macaroni and cheese?



  1. Reading this a second time made me even hungrier for better, better french fries!

  2. i totally cheated today. and i don't feel bad about it one bit.

  3. My husband served me this about three days ago and it was delicious! Crispy Cauliflower - who knew?